Raise your hand if you know what a Stage 5 Clinger is. Now look around. You aren't alone.
Lets talk about this term for those people who are blissfully married and unaware of the modern day dating battles. A "clinger" is a person who nags you for communication. They can be rated on a scale of 0-5. A Stage 0 Clinger is awesome, chill, enjoyable to talk to. A Stage 5 Clinger requires immediate intervention and escape because they WON'T.LEAVE.YOU.ALONE. Usually when people refer to clingers, they are talking about females. Females are the dominant species guilty of this because we have a need for reassurance and we aren't fans of feeling alone.
Occasionally, though, you come across a man that's a clinger. If you are like me, you frequently encounter them. Male clingers are like a rare breed. They are the Komodo Dragon of the dating world. And when you encounter a male clinger, it is like encountering an angry bear in the woods. It is lethal for a budding relationship, especially for a girl like me. I'm independent. I like to do my thing, when I want, how I want. I need a guy that trusts that I'm behaving--because I am due to the fact that I'm BORING.
I have recently made a poor attempt to rejoin the dating world after a 3 year relationship. I say "poor attempt" because I really don't care about dating. Not because I'm not ready, but because I don't really care right now. I'm happy with my life. I'm content being alone with my studio apartment and my jerk dog. I'd rate my life a perfect 10 right now. But....there's the pressure to date. The constant questions like, "So....you dating anyone? Any wedding bells in the future? Blah Blah Blah." That being said, it doesn't mean I'm closed off to dating. If I find a great guy, sure we can date. My point is that I don't NEED a guy right now. Because of the pressure, though, I date.
Lately, I've been on what I've termed "The Clinger Streak". I'll meet a great guy--cute, charming, smart, interesting, funny, etc. We'll talk for a few days, it's all great and wonderful. And then it happens. He turns into a Stage 5er. I will forget to respond to a txt or simply choose not to respond because I can't think of anything to say and I'll get a txt like, "Did what I say turn you off? You never responded." or "Do you not like me anymore?" or "Why don't you txt me back?" And that, right there, ends it for me. It's the kill shot. Done. You're out.
One particular recent occurrence: I met a guy and he calls me one night. We have a mildly awkward phone call that lasts one hour. Finally, I tell him I have to go because I promised myself I'd be going to bed at 10:30, it was already 10:20 and I wasn't ready yet. We said our goodbyes, I got ready for bed and fell asleep. At 11:45, he txts me saying, "I can't stop thinking of our conversation. Do you think we could talk again soon?" Ok. That's kinda cute. I'm not really the "cutesy" type and if you go overboard on the fru-fru stuff, it makes me want to vomit, but that comment wasn't across the line. Clearly, he was laying awake thinking I was awesome--which I personally think I am. What happened next made me want to jump off a cliff when I read it the next morning. An hour later (12:45 for those of you who aren't counting), he txts the following: ".....or not." Hold the phone, jerkwad. I SPECIFICALLY said I was going to bed at 10:30. It's now 12:45. Slow your roll, I'm sleeping, cut me a freaking break. I don't sleep with my phone in my hand. The next morning, I was trying to be open-minded and forgiving, so I texted back and said, "I went to bed at 10:30 like I told you and I just now got your txt. Sure. We can talk again." To which he responded, "That sounds enthusiastic." Aaaaaaaaaand I'm done with you. We've known each other 5 days and you're already pulling this crap?!?! Imagine 5 years down the road!! I probably wouldn't even be allowed to close the bathroom door to pee!! No thanks.
A similar situation happened this evening. I met a good guy over the weekend--cute, smart, funny. We've been talking, it's going well. Last night he txts me and I don't respond. I don't respond because my friend got robbed. I was a little preoccupied making sure the police report was filed, she remained calm and she got home safe. That kind of takes MAJOR precedence over the petty 20 questions game you've been wanting to play the past few days. Sorry I didn't respond. It's no big deal. It's not like we're in a serious relationship. We aren't even dating. We are talking, that's it. Then today, I'm at show choir and I see my phone light up. My kryptonite was on the screen, "Sooooo was what I said last night a deal breaker?"....You told me you were a student. Let's be reasonable. How is that a deal breaker?!? I just didn't txt you back. The reason I didn't txt you back isn't important to you. All you need to know is that it just didn't happen. It doesn't mean I don't like you or I'm not interested. If that's how I felt, I'd tell you. I just didn't respond. End of story. Instead, you say something that immediately turns you into a Stage 5 Clinger and the relationship is over before it even starts.
It is experiences such as these, which have both happened within a months time, that makes me want to be the crazy dog lady (because I hate cats). Who knows though, maybe a chill guy will come along some day and woo me. Until then, I'll just talk to my dog.
Lets talk about this term for those people who are blissfully married and unaware of the modern day dating battles. A "clinger" is a person who nags you for communication. They can be rated on a scale of 0-5. A Stage 0 Clinger is awesome, chill, enjoyable to talk to. A Stage 5 Clinger requires immediate intervention and escape because they WON'T.LEAVE.YOU.ALONE. Usually when people refer to clingers, they are talking about females. Females are the dominant species guilty of this because we have a need for reassurance and we aren't fans of feeling alone.
Occasionally, though, you come across a man that's a clinger. If you are like me, you frequently encounter them. Male clingers are like a rare breed. They are the Komodo Dragon of the dating world. And when you encounter a male clinger, it is like encountering an angry bear in the woods. It is lethal for a budding relationship, especially for a girl like me. I'm independent. I like to do my thing, when I want, how I want. I need a guy that trusts that I'm behaving--because I am due to the fact that I'm BORING.
I have recently made a poor attempt to rejoin the dating world after a 3 year relationship. I say "poor attempt" because I really don't care about dating. Not because I'm not ready, but because I don't really care right now. I'm happy with my life. I'm content being alone with my studio apartment and my jerk dog. I'd rate my life a perfect 10 right now. But....there's the pressure to date. The constant questions like, "So....you dating anyone? Any wedding bells in the future? Blah Blah Blah." That being said, it doesn't mean I'm closed off to dating. If I find a great guy, sure we can date. My point is that I don't NEED a guy right now. Because of the pressure, though, I date.
Lately, I've been on what I've termed "The Clinger Streak". I'll meet a great guy--cute, charming, smart, interesting, funny, etc. We'll talk for a few days, it's all great and wonderful. And then it happens. He turns into a Stage 5er. I will forget to respond to a txt or simply choose not to respond because I can't think of anything to say and I'll get a txt like, "Did what I say turn you off? You never responded." or "Do you not like me anymore?" or "Why don't you txt me back?" And that, right there, ends it for me. It's the kill shot. Done. You're out.
One particular recent occurrence: I met a guy and he calls me one night. We have a mildly awkward phone call that lasts one hour. Finally, I tell him I have to go because I promised myself I'd be going to bed at 10:30, it was already 10:20 and I wasn't ready yet. We said our goodbyes, I got ready for bed and fell asleep. At 11:45, he txts me saying, "I can't stop thinking of our conversation. Do you think we could talk again soon?" Ok. That's kinda cute. I'm not really the "cutesy" type and if you go overboard on the fru-fru stuff, it makes me want to vomit, but that comment wasn't across the line. Clearly, he was laying awake thinking I was awesome--which I personally think I am. What happened next made me want to jump off a cliff when I read it the next morning. An hour later (12:45 for those of you who aren't counting), he txts the following: ".....or not." Hold the phone, jerkwad. I SPECIFICALLY said I was going to bed at 10:30. It's now 12:45. Slow your roll, I'm sleeping, cut me a freaking break. I don't sleep with my phone in my hand. The next morning, I was trying to be open-minded and forgiving, so I texted back and said, "I went to bed at 10:30 like I told you and I just now got your txt. Sure. We can talk again." To which he responded, "That sounds enthusiastic." Aaaaaaaaaand I'm done with you. We've known each other 5 days and you're already pulling this crap?!?! Imagine 5 years down the road!! I probably wouldn't even be allowed to close the bathroom door to pee!! No thanks.
A similar situation happened this evening. I met a good guy over the weekend--cute, smart, funny. We've been talking, it's going well. Last night he txts me and I don't respond. I don't respond because my friend got robbed. I was a little preoccupied making sure the police report was filed, she remained calm and she got home safe. That kind of takes MAJOR precedence over the petty 20 questions game you've been wanting to play the past few days. Sorry I didn't respond. It's no big deal. It's not like we're in a serious relationship. We aren't even dating. We are talking, that's it. Then today, I'm at show choir and I see my phone light up. My kryptonite was on the screen, "Sooooo was what I said last night a deal breaker?"....You told me you were a student. Let's be reasonable. How is that a deal breaker?!? I just didn't txt you back. The reason I didn't txt you back isn't important to you. All you need to know is that it just didn't happen. It doesn't mean I don't like you or I'm not interested. If that's how I felt, I'd tell you. I just didn't respond. End of story. Instead, you say something that immediately turns you into a Stage 5 Clinger and the relationship is over before it even starts.
It is experiences such as these, which have both happened within a months time, that makes me want to be the crazy dog lady (because I hate cats). Who knows though, maybe a chill guy will come along some day and woo me. Until then, I'll just talk to my dog.
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