Dear Mother in the Silver Minivan Driving Through Broad Ripple,
I was just trying to go to show choir. As we were driving along, I couldn't help but read your 47 bumper stickers about how much of a hippie you are. Yes, I love the earth too. I thought we had common ground with that. I saw your 39 kids playing in the car, horsing around, having a grand old time--they appeared adorable. Then I saw you stop. No turn signal, not pedestrian traffic, nothing. You just stop. In the middle of the road. So I stop too because I don't believe in rear-ending soccer moms who have young children in the car. As I was sitting there, behind your sticker covered hatchback, I saw you throw your hands up in frustration. "What is the deal?!?" I thought? "Did little Timmy throw his Cheerios at Sally?" Nope. Because you threw your mom van into reverse and start backing up. That's when I got pissed. "Why are you doing this?!? There's no backing up on streets! Is this lady crazy?!? GAAAAHHH!" I also start to back up, but there is only so far for me to go before the person behind me is 1.5" from my back bumper. I'm trapped. There's no where to go. I've got Victoria Beckham wannabe in front of me, and confused college boy behind me. That's when I realized what was going on. I was stopped next to a parallel parking spot this woman apparently wanted. How was I supposed to know this? Apparently by using the psychic abilities I mentioned in my "About Me" tab. Because here, in the United States, we don't believe in informing other drivers of our intentions by using our turn signals. Nevertheless, I tried to remain calm. "Call Me, Maybe" was on the radio, I had the windows down, life was going pretty okay and this woman with her 97 babies (probably from different daddies) WASN'T going to ruin it. I jostled my way out from in between psycho-mom and frat-man to try and free up some room for her to back into this highly coveted parking space and drove through the turn lane to go around her. As I turned to offer an "I'm sorry but you didn't tell me you wanted that space" wave, her and all her hooligan children were giving me the thumbs down (INCLUDING the toddler in the car seat). Real mature, lady. Read my freaking parenting blog by scrolling down. You're an asshole and your children are well on their way. Go back to hippie land.
The Girl Who Can Recite Paragraphs From Her Drivers Ed Book
To the rest of the American population: use your turn signals and if you forget (which everyone forgets), don't get pissed at fellow drivers because they can't hear your thoughts. Common sense, people. Common sense.
On a completely different note---
Today I got authorized to take the NCLEX (the licensing exam for nurses). It is a hella big deal and it is crazy hard. I take it in June although that's as much of a timeframe as you're getting. Please start praying now. Keep an eye on the blog, though, because the night after I take it, there is going to be a massive sob fest in my apartment because as we were told during our review "You will leave the test confident that you failed." Nurses: Always the optimists. Please excuse me while I go puke